I always knew that when we had kids, making time for each other would be more difficult. I knew that we would go through challenging moments, driven by sleep deprivation and that we would sometimes find it harder to be nice to each other! It is so easy to fall into the trap of taking each other for granted whether you have kids or not but when you have kids working as a team and appreciating each other is more important than ever.
I am happy to say we have worked pretty well as a team. We take turns to have those precious lie ins and our evening routine is organised in a way that we are sat on the sofa at around 7:30/8, baby in bed, dinner eaten and cleaned up (on most days). This gives us both time to do our own thing (very important) or get together and relax and watch Game of Thrones (or whatever other series we are working through).
What we haven’t managed to do together is go out on our own very much, so this week we put our debt paying off schedule on hold and booked a babysitter. Just for 2 hours, to go and have a drink together, away from the chores and distractions at home. It was actually great to get out, although we both felt quite apprehensive as we walked out the door without our beautiful girl. We made sure she was asleep before we left and she rarely wakes up now (something I never thought I’d be saying 6 months ago!).
Minimalism gives you more time to focus on the things that are important to you. It encourages you to be more mindful and live a more meaningful life. With this in mind, I am much more conscious of making time for the things which really matter to me and letting go of the things that don’t. My partner and I have a good relationship because we have similar values. We certainly have different preferences but life would be very boring if we didn’t! My partner and I argue much more when I am not happy in myself or when I’m stressed or ‘busy’. Now I have stopped the need to be ‘busy’, I am so much calmer and I think, a much nicer person to be around. I feel much more comfortable with my own company than I did, which means that time spent with my partner is much more meaningful.
Focus on the relationships which add value to you and let go of the ones which don’t.